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Poetry
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Grace



Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:14 pm    Post subject: Poetry Reply with quote

The old forum had a thread for people to post their own poems and get some feedback. Can we have one of those here?
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Lizzy



Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 674
Location: the wilds of the West

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yep that's what this bits for Very Happy
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Grace



Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great Very Happy

Red, White and Blue

Blood and ink on her shirtsleeves
Red, white and blue.
Patriotism without grounds
to the country that has betrayed her.
She laughs at the irony;
Mirthless hilarity.
Her thoughts roam
to human rights downtrodden,
power of government abused
by those who claim to oppose terrorism.
They are the hijackers.
The War Correspondent finishes her article;
incalculable miseries compressed, as requested.
to ten thousand words or less
and presses the fax button
with fingers still dampened by the blood of
the latest victims.

Feedback gladly welcomed.
www.thetwelve.deviantart.com
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Kerela



Joined: 10 Sep 2005
Posts: 372
Location: Germany

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 8:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great! It gives you a lot to think about...
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Ry_Darrick



Joined: 25 Aug 2004
Posts: 106

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

thats really good, I often find myself not liking poetry , but this poem was very well written, congrats on the whole talent thing...
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Drizzt



Joined: 07 Mar 2005
Posts: 1081
Location: Easington, UK

PostPosted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not bad at all. One-sided, but puts across the point pretty well. Smile
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Grace



Joined: 28 May 2006
Posts: 302
Location: Bristol

PostPosted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 9:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you!

And Drizzt; it's meant to be one sided.

Now all we need is some more poems... over to you guys!
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Mark D



Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 171
Location: Yeovil, Somerset

PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 5:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Are we putting all kinds of poetry up here or specific to fantasy/medieval/battles etc?

i write poems frequently but never have i written one about The Raven..*grabs pen and paper*.
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Lizzy



Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 674
Location: the wilds of the West

PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello Mark D. Welcome to the forum. Post any poem you like here as long as it's not abusive or using seriously bad language. Smile
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Mark D



Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Posts: 171
Location: Yeovil, Somerset

PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lizzy wrote:
Hello Mark D. Welcome to the forum. Post any poem you like here as long as it's not abusive or using seriously bad language. Smile


Hello to you too Very Happy, its great to have people to discuss one of my favourite authors with, most of my friends arent into reading that much.

No its not abusive, poems dont need harsh words like that to be expressive. there are plenty of nice words in the English Language Smile

Will post some work up soon.
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Lizzy



Joined: 02 May 2005
Posts: 674
Location: the wilds of the West

PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cool, I just noticed you're in Somerset too!

We have a plethora of Somerset fans here now (well there are 5 of us at least now Cool )
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Mantyluoto



Joined: 21 Sep 2005
Posts: 573
Location: Somerset, UK

PostPosted: Fri Nov 24, 2006 6:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

and some of us even have it in our location, hint hint Lizzy Wink
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Jen



Joined: 14 Apr 2006
Posts: 149
Location: Somerset, United Kingdom

PostPosted: Sat Nov 25, 2006 5:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah five of us all with good taste in books!

and of course welcome Mark D *waves* looking forward to your poetry.
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Will



Joined: 08 Dec 2004
Posts: 31
Location: Leicester

PostPosted: Sun Jan 07, 2007 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

a poem from when I was slightly agrieved when someone offered to sort my life out with 'gods' help, damn religous flunky.

God?s Dungeon of Life.

I hate you,
This curse of life you gave me undeserved,
In these times I think,
Unholy thoughts spring to mind,
Hatred coiled in the depths,
Darkness upon me.

The shackles of fear,
Fear of nothing,
Your stroke of genius in an insane rage,
Suffer I will.

In blindness to your omnipotent ways,
The shackles on me are cutting into my flesh,
Unbind me now so I can rest,
And into the nothingness tread.

Is the universe finite,
Is there an end to the suffering,
Man should not care,
Unable to comprehend or compare the feelings of others,
Only to themselves do they trust or care.

So are my questions unbolting the door,
Are they prolonging my suffering,
Is courage the only thing to end this,
Or shall I depend on your pity my lord?

Everyday I wonder about the thoughts and deeds,
Of heroes and kings of past lore,
I will never be among them,
Smiting my enemies on the battle field,
Your sarcastic afterthought,
To rob me of such times of valour,
You have not driven me to deeds of good,
Rather left me without hope or desire,
An empty feeling,
To die without remembrance.
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dragonkillernz



Joined: 09 Oct 2004
Posts: 365
Location: New Zealand

PostPosted: Sat Jan 20, 2007 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've sort of written a song, although seeing as it has no music, I guess it's a poem at the moment Razz

I killed a man;
Nobody noticed, nobody cared,
Happy, confident, murdered,
To be replaced by me, his worst fear.


I killed a man and took his place,
People who loved him, love me,
He had so much to look forward to,
But self destruction is all I can see.


I thought they would notice,
We were so different,
But people don't care for others,
That was the beginning of my descent.


Now I'm burdened,
I see dark and despair,
The world ignored him,
So I killed him and nobody cared.







For those of you who weren't around during the last incarnation of the forum, I was an active member, but for quite a while, we were without a forum and I've sort of drifted away from it, unfortunately. Also, there's a lack of a category like the Chit Chat and Waffle that we had back in the last forum, which I always enjoyed immensely.

This song has a meaning to me. I wrote it as much for myself as for my band (which so far consists of me and my girlfriend, neither of us having ever properly learnt to play any instrument nor owning any instruments) and the song is about myself.
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