James Barclay

Parmenion · Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 584

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vrafm5dUtZk

ok guys this is another viral marketing video trailer for an upcoming young adults book.

there is also a myspace page for the main character ellie Quin.

Have a look see what you think, feedback would be useful, also any interest in the concept, this book will be out in 2007, i think it will be a bit of a cult classic rather than mainstream.

DarrenT · Joined: 22 Aug 2004 Posts: 60 Location: United Kingdom

Ouch. Someone dropped the ball there, and no mistake...

Visuals were dull, 'American Beauty' sound-track was dull, voice-over was dull. Author was full of himself and full of bullshit in roughly equal measures ("Oh, yah, I'm like totally Douglas Adams meets Joss Whedon, and, like, nobody else has ever done anything that sort of thing ever, ever before... and hey, it's like science fiction for people who aren't science fiction geeks, y'know? Like, cool people instead...")

As a science fiction reader, I'm both bored and offended. If the trailer was designed to put me off the book completely and send me out for something much better to read, then it's succeeded.

Rule number one: Respect your audience, especially if they're still only a potential audience.

Rule number two: Get your facts straight and don't make dumb claims for greatness that can be blown out of the water without even trying.

Rule number three: If you haven't written something genuinely original, don't waste your time pretending you have. Go away and practice...

I'll leave it there, before I drown in my own vitriol, shall I?
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Lizzy · Posted: Mon Jan 22, 2007 12:59 pm Post subject:

um...what he said.

Did absolutely nothing to inspire me to read his books.

An author shouldn't say 'my stuff has been likened to....' leave that to reviewers.

Also anyone who says it's like Joss Whedon...well it's abit like asking if you're in the SAS, only those who aren't say they are....
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Listen to Lizzy, she's always right! as said by Jovial

Parmenion · Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 584

ooooooooouuuucchhhhhh!! Crying or Very sad

Cheers, any feedback is appreciated, I can sort of see what he was trying to create with the video, and i have sent mine as well as your comments back.

Once there is a new draft i will send you a link for more feedback etc..

Drizzt · Joined: 07 Mar 2005 Posts: 1081 Location: Easington, UK

Just watched it. Have to agree with the above I'm afraid; it's like watching a screensaver. Still, good look to the guy.

One thing... he states he's always wanted to write a sci-fi book for people who don't normally read sci-fi books, then goes into a very sci-fi description of the premise... Question

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Pagan Music

Mantyluoto · Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Posts: 573 Location: Somerset, UK

it would have been better if he had used a proper narrator rather than doing the job himself because his speech is dire.

I did note whilst listening to the drivel that he was spouting that "Ellie Quin" looked surprisingly like Mila Jovovich which immediately put me to mind of "The Fifth Element" and "Resident Evil".

On an end note i thought the "premise" was drivel, his narration was drivel and i for one have been put off by it.

TheJovialGnome · Joined: 05 Jan 2005 Posts: 295 Location: Boston

I have to say that I think Ariel summed it all up very well Laughing

What an incredibly boring voice, made you want to put a rocket up his backside, light blue touch-paper and retire immediately! Laughing

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Parmenion · Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 584

I had a copy of the file and had not been to you tube to listen, there was an issue with the voice due to some quirk of the upload.

But as for the content, I have passed on the comments, the author is a fan of scifi and a bit of a fantasy warhammer geek etc..(dont ask there are pictures and everything) i think he may not know the audience of the genre?

this is why i wanted to run it past people who were. to go back with comments to help him change it and polish it. The book is actually quite good. (and i never normally say that about young adult fiction) as you know i hate Harry potter

Lizzy · Posted: Tue Jan 23, 2007 9:34 am Post subject:

Drizzt · Joined: 07 Mar 2005 Posts: 1081 Location: Easington, UK

Ah, he's trying to write sci-fi for non-sci-fi fans... Shocked

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Pagan Music

Mantyluoto · Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Posts: 573 Location: Somerset, UK

no comment!

no actually i will comment....

his voice didn't sound like an upload problem it sounded like he was reading the passage and taking breath's and emphasising the wrong words.

You can say what you will Parmenion but you wont get me to buy his books with naf work like. To many cliche's to much drivel.

Drizzt · Joined: 07 Mar 2005 Posts: 1081 Location: Easington, UK

I think you were correct Gen, Alex's only chance with this one is for it to become a cult classic.

Scary thing is I can see this being a subject for a panel at FanCon or something.
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Pagan Music

Parmenion · Joined: 06 Oct 2006 Posts: 584

well at present this was an exercise in asking people who know about the genre to give feedback to an author who has not written for this audience.

the book does not really have 1 genre to sit in, scifi is just one. this has been the issue with the book, not having a specific home.

The book and the video to me dont fully match up. The video is an example of trying to explain some thing that does not definatly have a niche, it may not work properly. hence asking those in the know, for constructive criticism / feedback on what they thought was wrong and what they would change.

Manty..im not trying to sell you the book, if i were doing that i would say they were for sale...im asking for the feedback of people who like and read the genre and understand the genres likes and dislikes.

Drizzt · Joined: 07 Mar 2005 Posts: 1081 Location: Easington, UK

It's on his You Tube account. Considering the crap on You Tube it's difficult to imagine it being given any kind of real credence. He says in his profile he's using the account for videos to push his books and further his cgi projects etc - he's cramming too much in.

I can't stand ads for books. They always tend to be corny and cheesy - just look at those James Patterson ones which hit the screens every so often. This one's no different - he needs to ake it a lot less serious-looking and change his script. Get someone else to do the voice over if he can.
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Pagan Music

Mantyluoto · Joined: 21 Sep 2005 Posts: 573 Location: Somerset, UK

i think all of the critisism has been constructive its not our fault we all agree.